IYSSYS 6.0 · The weekly sports page of record · Price: one waiver claim
You Don’t Know Ball
Gameweek 4Monday, 14 September 2026IYSSYS 6.0 — Gameweek 4
CHAMPIONS IN FULL FLIGHT
7-1 BREAK THE CEILING
The reigning champions hit a season-high 157.25, overpower The Lion King and move to 4–0.
Hull remain unbeaten in league after impressive Chelsea drawBBC Sport
7-1 FC produced the highest score of the season, beating The Lion King 157.25–119 behind a spectacular 41 points from Groß. The previous season high was 146.5, also set by 7-1, which suggests the reigning champions are currently competing mainly with their earlier work.
Groß supplied more than a quarter of the winning total, but this was not a solo rescue. Schade scored 25, Tavernier added 22.5, Gabriel returned 16.5 and Tarkowski contributed 13.75. Even with Solanke scoring minus-one, 7-1 had enough depth to turn a strong opposing score into a routine defeat.
The Lion King received 24 from newly claimed Belloumi, 22.5 from João Pedro and 15 from Muharemović. A total of 119 would have beaten six teams this week; unfortunately, the fixture list had arranged an appointment with the other three.
The result extends 7-1 FC's winning run to four gameweeks and strengthens an all-time series they already led 20–11 before kickoff. At 4–0 with 549.25 points scored, the champions have begun their title defence without any visible interest in easing into the season.
The Market
▲ Stock Up
Groß. His 41 points were the week's largest individual return and powered 7-1 FC to the season's highest team score.
Slimey FC's Bogle claim. Claimed on Saturday and started immediately, Bogle scored 26.75 in Slimey FC's first victory.
WhiteCastle United. United have won two straight and reached 131 through balance: eight starters scored at least 16.5.
▼ Stock Down
𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚. A fourth straight defeat arrived by 70.75 points, with only Kluivert and Jacquet reaching double figures.
Foden. Foden scored minus-six in a matchup Saca Cojones lost by 29.5, turning a difficult week into a formally documented one.
Snake's forwards. Semenyo, George and Rayan combined for 12.5 points while Snake's goalkeeper and leading midfielder combined for 52.
The Transaction Wire
Bogle · CLAIM · Slimey FC — Slimey FC claimed Bogle on September 12 and received 26.75 points immediately. This is what waiver optimism looks like when it survives contact with a lineup.
Belloumi · CLAIM · The Lion King — Belloumi scored 24 after joining The Lion King. The move was excellent; drawing 7-1 FC during a record week was less cooperative.
Strand Larsen · CLAIM · WhiteCastle United — Strand Larsen delivered 16.5 in WhiteCastle United's 131-point win, an immediate return from a September 11 claim.
Kamada · CLAIM · WhiteCastle United — Kamada added 16.5 to WhiteCastle's deep winning lineup. A useful claim became more useful once several teammates did the same thing.
Kinsky · CLAIM · Crème Internazionale C.F. — Kinsky was claimed on September 12 and scored 17, leading Crème Internazionale C.F. in victory.
Araujo · CLAIM · Crème Internazionale C.F. — Araujo produced 11.75 after a same-day claim, giving Crème a second immediately productive addition.
Around the League
OLD HABITS
CRÈME KEEP THE HOUNDS ON A SHORT LEAD
A controlled 76–65.25 win extends one of the league's most lopsided historical matchups.
Crème Internazionale C.F. did not need fireworks against Hound Boys FC 🐶. Kinsky, Ødegaard and Sávio supplied 47.5 points between them, while Araujo and Khalaili added 21.5 from defence. The Hounds never found a comparable cluster of scorers and finished 10.75 points short.
Before this week, Crème led the all-time series 17–2–1 across 20 meetings. The latest instalment followed the established script: modest score, orderly victory, paperwork presumably already filed. Both teams are now 2–2, although Crème rises with the useful knowledge that history remains fully operational.
FIRST BLOOD
BOGLE TURNS ONE CLAIM INTO A RESCUE OPERATION
Slimey FC's newest defender powers a 99–69.5 upset of Saca Cojones.
Slimey FC claimed Bogle on Saturday and immediately received 26.75 points, the largest return in the matchup. Donnarumma added 17 and Boscagli 13.75, giving Slimey enough defensive production to withstand a quieter forward line and secure their first victory of the season.
Saca Cojones entered as the favourite and still found 22.25 from De Cuyper plus 14.5 apiece from Rogers and Haaland. The trouble was concentrated but severe: Foden scored minus-six and Petrović minus-four. The all-time series had been level at 2–2 before this week; Slimey now owns the fifth meeting and, briefly, a functioning emergency department.
DEPTH CHARGE
WHITECASTLE WIN EVERYWHERE AT ONCE
Eight substantial returns carry United past Snake and into second place.
WhiteCastle United's 131 was built without a single overwhelming score. Saka led with 21, followed by Kostoulas on 19.5, Yalcouyé on 18.5 and Muñoz on 17.75. Kamada and Strand Larsen each supplied 16.5, creating the sort of balanced lineup that makes comeback calculations mostly ceremonial.
Snake had the matchup's two best individual returns: Raya scored 26.5 and Gibbs-White 25.5. The support never arrived consistently, particularly up front, and a 104.5 total became a second straight defeat. WhiteCastle have won two straight and now stand 3–1, continuing a series they led 19–12 before the week.
SERIES RESET
DECLAN RICE SETTLE SEVEN GAMES OF BUSINESS
A 70.75-point demolition ends a long wait against 𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚.
Calvert-Lewin led Declan Rice FC with 21.5 points in the week's largest victory.· Sky Sports
Declan Rice FC entered this meeting having gone six meetings without beating 𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚. They ended that sequence decisively, scoring 131.25 while limiting the visitors to 60.5. Calvert-Lewin's 21.5 led a lineup with seven double-digit returns, including Van Hecke's 18 and Pickford's 15.5.
𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚 received 16.5 from Kluivert and 15.5 from Jacquet, but every other starter scored 7.75 or fewer. Horníček's minus-1.5 completed the evening. The former series leaders are now 0–4, a start that has replaced the word “temporary” with some increasingly careful punctuation.
The Notebook
Saca Cojones left a league-high 37.75 points in reserve. The defeat was too large for a simple swap to erase, but the bench did submit a persuasive alternative application.
Even during a season-high performance, 7-1 FC had 24.25 points in reserve. Competitive restraint remains under review.
Snake left only 1.25 points in reserve, the lowest figure of the week. The lineup was efficiently selected; the matchup was simply lost elsewhere.
Hound Boys FC 🐶 are 2–2 with 371 points for and 375.75 against, a nearly symmetrical season conducted without unnecessary comfort.
Crème have scored 297 points and still reached 2–2. Only winless 𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚 have scored fewer, with 256.25.
The corrected Gameweek 3 ledger now records Crème at 66 rather than 67, and Hound Boys FC 🐶 beating Snake 98.25–96.25 rather than 99.25–97.25. The winners remain unchanged; arithmetic has merely tidied the scene.
Hackney was claimed by WhiteCastle, dropped four days later and then claimed by 𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚. He scored two points for the latter, bringing a busy administrative week to a quiet sporting conclusion.
The League Table
Rank
Team
Rec
W
D
L
GB
PF
PA
1
7-1 FC —
4-0-0
4
0
0
—
549.25
369.25
2
WhiteCastle United —
3-0-1
3
0
1
—
456.25
421.25
3
Declan Rice FC ▲2
3-0-1
3
0
1
—
410.25
294.25
4
Snake ▼1
2-0-2
2
0
2
—
424
368.25
5
Hound Boys FC 🐶 ▼1
2-0-2
2
0
2
0
371
375.75
6
Saca Cojones —
2-0-2
2
0
2
0
347.5
334.25
7
Crème Internazionale C.F. ▲1
2-0-2
2
0
2
0
297
338.75
8
The Lion King ▼1
1-0-3
1
0
3
1
399.5
463.75
9
Slimey FC —
1-0-3
1
0
3
1
354.75
437.5
10
𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚 —
0-0-4
0
0
4
2
256.25
462.75
The Playoff Race
7-1 FC
—
1/100(99%)
WhiteCastle United
▲
1/8(89%)
Declan Rice FC
▲
1/2(67%)
Snake
▼
4/6(60%)
The Lion King
▲
2/1(33%)
Hound Boys FC 🐶
▼
3/1(25%)
Saca Cojones
▼
7/1(13%)
Slimey FC
▲
9/1(10%)
Crème Internazionale C.F.
—
33/1(3%)
𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚
—
100/1(1%)
From the archive: sides standing 4-0-0 at this stage went on to make the top four in 5 of 8 cases; sides standing 3-0-1 at this stage went on to make the top four in 13 of 20 cases; sides standing 2-0-2 at this stage went on to make the top four in 9 of 27 cases; sides standing 1-0-3 at this stage went on to make the top four in 5 of 18 cases.
Futures courtesy of the desk bookmaker
The Honours Board
Performance of the Week
Groß
Groß scored 41 as 7-1 FC established a new season high of 157.25.
Transaction of the Week
Bogle
Bogle returned 26.75 immediately after being claimed and helped Slimey FC secure their first win.
Bad Beat
The Lion King
The Lion King's 119 was the week's fourth-highest total and still lost by 38.25.
Collapse of the Week
𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚
𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚 scored 60.5 and lost by 70.75, the largest margin of Gameweek 4.
Next Week in Football
Gameweek 5 · first whistle Friday, 3:00 PM EDT
Fixture
Home
Away
Crème Internazionale C.F. v Slimey FC
+150
−150
Hound Boys FC 🐶 v WhiteCastle United
+126
−126
Snake v Declan Rice FC
+310
−310
The Lion King v 𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚
−440
+440
Saca Cojones v 7-1 FC
+171
−171
Prices as they stood Tuesday, September 15 at 12:10 AM ET. The desk reprices as team news lands.
All prices courtesy of the desk bookmaker · bets void where prohibited, which is everywhere
The Desk’s Record
✗ Gave Hound Boys FC 🐶 57% — wrong.
✗ Gave Saca Cojones 54% — wrong.
✓ Gave 7-1 FC 62%.
✗ Gave Snake 54% — wrong.
✓ Gave Declan Rice FC 86%.
Called 2 of 5. The desk stands by whatever it said.
Points Left in Reserve
1. Saca Cojones37.75
2. 7-1 FC24.25
3. WhiteCastle United22.75
4. Hound Boys FC 🐶21.00
5. Declan Rice FC19.00
6. Slimey FC17.75
7. The Lion King8.50
8. Crème Internazionale C.F.8.00
9. 𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚6.00
10. Snake1.25
Points scored by players their managers chose to watch from the sofa.
On This Matchweek
2019-20.On this matchweek in 2019-20, Saca Cojones beat I’m a Dirty player 160.75–91. Some scores age into folklore; others remain active crime scenes.
2020-21.On this matchweek in 2020-21, Snake defeated I’m a Dirty player 151.75–54. The 97.75-point margin required neither suspense nor a lengthy post-match inquiry.
2025-26.On this matchweek in 2025-26, Saca Cojones edged 𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚 90–89.25. A year later, 𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚 may look back warmly on defeats that still involved suspense.
The Weekly Football Folly
“Saca Cojones left 37.75 points in reserve, lending its 69.5–99 defeat an unusual sense of depth.”
From the Back Pages
Obituaries
GYÖKERES, DEPARTED SEPTEMBER 12
Released by Slimey FC after a brief association. Survived by several forwards, one open roster decision and the usual possibility of an awkward reunion. No flowers.
BRANTHWAITE, 7 SEPTEMBER–7 SEPTEMBER
Claimed and dropped by Slimey FC on the same day before finding shelter with The Lion King. Survived by transaction records and a 12-point Gameweek 4 return. Donations may be sent to roster patience.
MUNOZ, RELEASED SEPTEMBER 12
Departed 𝐖i𝐫t𝐳C𝐨l𝐚 during a difficult opening month. Survived by an 0–4 roster and questions that cannot all be placed at his feet. No flowers, please.
HATO, BETWEEN CLUBS
Dropped by The Lion King on September 8 and claimed by WhiteCastle United on September 11. Reports of his fantasy death were therefore administrative. Survived by a new badge and zero Gameweek 4 points.
KHUSANOV, FREQUENTLY FAREWELLED
Dropped by WhiteCastle United, claimed and later dropped by Crème Internazionale C.F. within the week. Survived by multiple transaction IDs and the suspicion that another memorial may be required.
The Classifieds
Davis — DAVIS, DEFENDER: 25.5 points last gameweek. Available immediately. Serious enquiries preferred; frantic Sunday claims also accepted.
Dunk — DUNK, DEFENDER: Recent return of 24 points. Veteran structure, premium weekly mileage, no roster currently attached.
Verbruggen — VERBRUGGEN, GOALKEEPER: 23.75 points and presently unemployed. Seeking club able to appreciate saves before waivers process the evidence.
Emersonn — EMERSONN, FORWARD: 20-point demonstration model. Fitness questions may apply; optimism sold separately.
Mykolenko — MYKOLENKO, DEFENDER: 19.25 last time out. Sensible acquisition for managers who enjoy points and dislike explaining why they ignored them.
Ask the Gaffer
“Dear Gaffer, my team scored 119 and lost by nearly forty. Meanwhile another side won with 76. Is there a recognised procedure for appealing directly to the fixture list, or should I simply pretend this builds character?”
— Aggrieved in the Upper Tier
The Gaffer: Character is what fantasy football calls points that cannot be added to your score. The Lion King would indeed have beaten six teams this week, but drew 7-1 FC while Groß was scoring 41 and the champions were setting a season high. Crème won with 76 because Hound Boys FC 🐶 scored 65.25. There is no appeal. You may submit a complaint, but it will be filed beside the 119 points and admired for its lack of practical effect.
The Pub Quiz
This week: Which player scored 41 points as 7-1 FC set the season high?
This season: Who beat The Lion King 140.25–104.75 in Gameweek 2?
From the archive: Who won 160.75–91 on this matchweek in 2019-20?
Groß. · Saca Cojones. · Saca Cojones beat I’m a Dirty player.
Corrections
A Gameweek 3 score printed in the previous edition has been amended from 67 to 66. The desk regrets the provider.
A Gameweek 3 score printed in the previous edition has been amended from 97.25 to 96.25. The desk regrets the provider.
A Gameweek 3 score printed in the previous edition has been amended from 99.25 to 98.25. The desk regrets the provider.
